Get all 34 Toehider releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of XII in XII #09 - "SPACE FAMOUS", XII in XII #08 - "Stereo Night Ash: Music for Relaxation, Meditation, Decastrophizing and Deep Sleep", XII in XII #07 - "Toad Hirer", XII in XII #06 - Children of the Sun 3: A Collection of Cartoon Theme Songs from an Alternate Timeline in Which All Cartoons Are Duck-Themed, XII in XII #5 - Take on a Tank, XII in XII #04 - Horse EP, XII in XII #03 - The 4 Castles of Stelcoaryn, XII in XII #02 - "Snapshots From Beacontown Spring Dance '85", and 26 more.
1. |
Toad Hirer
18:39
|
|||
|
XII in XII - #07 - “TOAD HIRER”
Introduction (00:48)
I'm asked that a lot, but oh no, that’s not me! I’ve nothing to hide, the opposite actually.
Folks come here looking for him, it’s a common mistake. Hey since you’re here, can I show you these clocks that I make?
Verse 1 (02:30)
Welcome to “Tiny Time Hall'', that’s what this hall’s called! Hah, ok hold your applause.
I’d love to work outta somewhere drier, but this is all I can afford!
Just a knot clump, a splintery sap bump in an old tree stump - obscured by moss & grass & rocks
A small spot, my little workshop for my mini time clocks that never TICK, only TOCK!
Chorus 1 (03:07)
I’M “TOAD HIRER”, PLEASED TO MEET YOU, BLIGHTER! I’M GLAD YOU’VE COME MY WAY
I KNOW TOADS ONLY, GOD I GET SO LONELY - AWHILE YOU STAY?
Verse 2 (03:39)
My little noble practising of clock dispatching, the workload kind of started catching up with me.
I needed a team of workers who are rough & scratchy, for I have some very strict deadlines indeed.
Star fingered toadies, mmm they do just nicely, I get them all to hop up to my tree stump shop
The moisture is so highly but they don’t mind slightly. They love it & they’re so great at the job!
Bridge 1 (03:57)
Frogs? No, they’re useless. Too smooth is their skin, yes
Clock cogs (& the springs) need the course toad star fingers
Chorus 2 (04:18)
COME TO THE RIVER, WATCH THEIR MOTHERS DELIVER - IT’S NOT FOR FAINT OF HEART
HER BACK SKIN QUIVERS WITH A UNISONED SHIVER - QUITE THE QUAINTED START
CONSENSUAL CONSENSUS IS THE AMPLE AMPLEXUS - IT’S AN AWKWARD LOVING EMBRACE
WHEN DAD ROLLS THE EGGS INTO HER BACK, YOU’RE GONNA FREAK
Middle 1 (07:50)
I think she’s ready to start now. I think she’s aching for it. She’s been dreaming, somehow preparing for this.
The river is dark and so muddy.. I’m proud of her for being so brave. For sacrificing, it must be frightening.
I hope they’re healthy & feisty. I hope they turn out better than me. - I’m so faulty, so so faulty
It’s time to face the world. It’s time to give what you can. It’s time for big release.
I know she’s ready to start now. She’s flat and she’s brilliant and strong. She’ll feel so elated, the poor thing has waited so long
The water is calm and so soothing. I might be more nervous than her. But I know she’ll get through this, and I know I’ll get through this
I’ll make sure they’re kind and thoughtful. I’ll make sure they don’t make the same mistakes I made. I’m so broken, so very broken..
It's time to face the world. She can no longer hold them in. Her back shivers with life.
Fast verse 1 - (13:49)
Remember when I said my time/pieces only TOCK? I find it weird you didn’t ask me why!
No it’s understandable, you’ve been through quite a lot, so I’ll go ahead & tell you (well, I’ll try..)
Fast chorus 1 - (14:06)
The river’s full of leeches, otters & other creatures, but the big concern’s those pesky ticks*
They love a toad to suck on, questing & latching upon the big back holes. It makes us sick!
So yeah, we HATE ticks.
Fast verse 2 - (14:39)
It /makes sense that ticks all love the TICKING of a clock, so by law these parasites don’t like the TOCK
So I hire the offspring, often hundreds at a time - & fill the holes with my NON-TICKING CLOCKS!
Fast chorus 2 (14:56)
The hands are warty, grimy, all coarse and not all slimy. They’re much more agreeable than frogs
Yes they’re the quintessential, Peak amphibious potential. My very precious special sprogs
Oh pipa pipa come to me, pipa pipa please help me! Pipa Pipa come slot the cogs
You are the quintessential, Peak amphibious potential. My very precious special sprogs!
Verse 3 (15:45)
Now watch, I simply guide these babies up the stream to “Tiny Time Hall” (the older ones will teach them what to do)
Now a watch, I gently sew some clocks into the mother’s gaping birth holes (and she’s now free to go and make her dreams come true)
Bridge 2 - (16:03)
The ticks come to attack, oh but the TOCK of the NON-TICKING clocks sets them off, they can’t get in, so they take off…
Chorus 3 (16:26)
I’M “TOAD HIRER” & TO MEET YOU ‘TWAS NICE TO! BUT YOU BEST BE ON YOUR WAY
MY FRESH TEAM’S ASSEMBLED WITH SO MUCH WORK AHEAD-O-’EM, BEFORE THE LIGHT OF DAY
THE LAKE ALL A SHIMMER WITH PRISTINE GLASS GLIMMER - TOADAL GUILLOCHE & CHAINS
A BRASS SCENT LINGERS ON THOSE SMALL STAR FINGERS AS THE OLD ONES HOP AWAY
MY FRONT GATE SHUDDERS LIKE THE BACK OF THEIR MOTHER. I HOPE THEY ENJOYED THEIR STAY
THEY’RE IN SUCH A HURRY! BUT I NEEDN’T WORRY. I’LL CLOCK THEM TOO SOME DAY!
I’M “TOAD HIRER” & WHILE IT’S TRUE I LIKE YA, IT’S TIME YOU WENT AWAY
SAYONARA, CHEERS AND HEY, REMEMBER, I’M NOT *THAT* GUY.
OKAY?!?
|
||||
2. |
||||
3. |
Toad Hirer - vocal only
10:50
|
|||
Toehider Melbourne, Australia
The work of musician Micheal Mills and artist Andrew Saltmarsh.
Toehider recommends:
The Angry Video Game Nerd Collection
by Lachlan Barclay
Lachlan Barclay's "Angry Video Game Nerd" collection.
go to album
Queensland prog greatness.
go to albumIf you like Toehider, you may also like:
supported by 10 fans who also own “XII in XII #07 - "Toad Hirer"”
Bent Knee is the most unconventional and collectively talented band on the road today. Separately, they are monsters at their musical crafts; collectively they are more advanced than what much of the listening public can even fathom.
go to album
supported by 10 fans who also own “XII in XII #07 - "Toad Hirer"”
The Aristocrats always grow not only as artists but also close friends singularly, collectively & collaboratively, feeding and fusing their magnificent works of art. They just keep getting better. Their 5th album DUCK shines showing off their continued exciting innovative growth, not afraid to take chances, in TOP FORM. Huge Payoff imho🩵💥🔥 Edvard Grieg! Here Come the Builders; Muddle Through; Slideshow; .. /Duck’s End; This is Not Scrotum Album Brilliante❗️Eccezionale❗️ Thank you guys‼️
go to album
The Art Of Losing
by The Anchoress
The second release from Welsh artist The Anchoress is a devastating and powerful meditation on loss.
go to album
The Long Island metal band's third album etches arena-sized hooks into their jagged compositions, deftly balancing experimental and poppy inclinations.
go to album
