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I Have Little To No Memory of These Memories

by Toehider

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  • Streaming + Download

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    The new album on 12" 180g vinyl pressed by Dunk Records in Belgium

    This version of the song has a different, more sinister ending to the CD version.

    Download of the song is the CD version though, so you get both versions.

    Signed by request, just leave us a note with your order

    NOTE: LPs will be shipped in November once production is complete

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Have Little To No Memory of These Memories via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    shipping out on or around November 4, 2022
    edition of 500 
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes with a T-shirt and a sweet poster.

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Have Little To No Memory of These Memories via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 14 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $45 AUD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 25 Toehider releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of I Have Little To No Memory of These Memories, I LIKE IT!, "GOOD", 2015 - Mainly Songs About Robots, 2014 - What Kind Of Creature Am I?, 12 EPs in 12 Months - The First Six, 12 EPs in 12 Months - The Last Six, WHOA!, and 17 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

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  • Limited edition CD gatefold
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The new album featuring Mike's music, Salty's artwork and a CD gatefold

    Signed by request, just leave us a note with your order

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Have Little To No Memory of These Memories via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
“I think I’m trapped!” cried the woman, surrounded by newspaper, glass bottles and magazines stacked to the roof. Bird cages. Not one, but TWO big old boats in the front yard. Tarpaulin (not weather-proofed). She does that thing with her hands that she does when she’s in an inconsolable state of panic. As you can see, she has a problem. She thinks she needs it all, and there’s just years worth of stuff piled and blocking each entrance (and exit) of the house, she’s well and truly fucked. She tries to find a phone but all she finds is radios! People, what we see is a girl in pain. A girl in pain. A little house on a cul-de-sac filled to the brim with trinkets, with bric-à-brac. Pop culture memorabilia. Clothing stacks. And not to mention the 14 or 15 cats. Sink filled with plates and teacups and vermin traps.. Frantic, a hat stand falls and trips her over. And though at first it’s all still intact, a towering pile of pamphlets (and other crap) topples and tumbles down and then bam! It smacks the back of her head. Her vision tunes out to black. And all she can hear is the crackling of a fire igniting from a shattered old oil lantern! Folks, all we see is a girl in pain. A girl in pain. But to some, in the depths of space, she’s the perfect brain. The perfect brain. All dials were turned somehow to 49 at the same damn time on those vintage radios - a transmission flow! A surge of something suddenly starts seeping in through skull and skin. Her mind is flooded out with foreign memories..
2.
I HAVE LITTLE TO NO MEMORY OF THESE MEMORIES Have you forgotten more than you’ve remembered? Ever felt your mind go blank? Just like THAT? It vanished? Or slowly felt it slip away? Well have you some memories you’re sure were never? Not yours? Riveted pyramids - curly hills - floating ships… what? Well neither have I but listen these three earthlings had that! If you’d kindly take a moment, I’ll tell the entire story… The saga starts one Sunday (maybe Saturday… hey, who can say?) Those minor points are inconsequential anyway). All three were suddenly subjected to, well, not deja vu, but rather strange scenarios which I’ll get into; It’s mid afternoon on a busy traffic street somewhere. (Well clearly on earth because what other species lets their transportation infrastructure get so chaotic and out of hand?) Now for this to work, you’ll need some suspension of disbelief This isn’t a movie, or even a made-for-TV-series, so I ask that some imagination on your part is most imperative. The sound of a siren rips over the traffic ambience. A fire engine makes an attempt to weave through... “The essence of living - hinged on past experiences Senescence is giving provender to wizdom, yet all the same I don’t remember this, and I remember everything.” Some people struggle to recall events from earlier that day But not this guy, he’s an anomaly See, let me explain this thing known as “hyperthymesia” A rare as condition that causes one’s memories to be quite unusually articulate. Perfect snapshots of the past On this particular day, while attending the call-out, he received a retention of past events not of his own... “A presence forgiving - binged on vast coincidences “The essence of living - hinged on past experiences Senescence is giving provender to wizdom, yet all the same I don’t remember this, no, and I remember everything” So frozen, he sits in the dim cab lights A house up in flames on his right as his Consciousness gets compromised Ejected from comforting thought patterns Unable to move in this moment he Endures the inevitable The blue static charge in the air, it dissipates A face in the glow as he slowly he comes to “There is a sting in bringing light to life’s regrets Of feeling pinned to things, events you’d rather forget There is a sting in bringing light to life’s regrets Of feeling pinned to things, events you’d rather forget So tied to times all intertwined with tight upset Fatigued and tired from staunch reminders, oh and yet I don’t remember this, and I remember everything.” “Insignias in the hands, severely swollen glands, rust-encrusted sand, and so on I can smell the sulfur air. It’s just like I was there. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t! No-one here looks like us. Their skulls weeping with pus. Their brains all scabbed and busting out. They move with a lopsided swagger in their stride. They’re rubbish. They’re awful.” “I cannot be asleep. I get the feeling this is really happening! I don’t believe in dreams, I can’t foresee them ever being helpful.” “Hovering above, round apparatuses shoot blinding light in spurts below Unnerving sounds of static charges in the air. I hate it. I hate it! Workers lugging pine, or maybe diamond mines, or something else entirely maybe -Their eyes all squinted-like, they look off to one side. They’re scum-dulled, and numb-skulled.” “File my fantasies, back up every little thought I have Log my reveries, be sure to store my memory exactly...” “Feels like it was yesterday. But how can this be any day? I’ve gained a brain in all this disarray?” “3 suns up in the mountains - surely like 2 would be enough? Fences down in the trenches - Barbed wire and glass and thorns and stuff. Underpowered, massive steel towers - sensing that something surely significant is stored inside.” [audio depiction a scene transition, flickering back and forth from inside the man’s head, to a woman trapped in her house, which is on fire] “I think I’m trapped!” cried the woman Surrounded by newspaper, glass bottles and magazines stacked to the roof Bird cages Not one, but TWO big ol’ boats in the front yard, tarpaulin (not weather-proofed) She does that thing with her hands that she does when she’s in an inconsolable state of panic As you can see, she has a problem She thinks she needs it all, and there’s just years worth of stuff piled and blocking each entrance (and exit) of the house, she’s well and truly fucked She tries to find a phone but all she finds is radios! People, what we see is a girl in pain A girl in pain A little house on a cul-de-sac Filled to the brim with trinkets, with bric-à-brac Pop culture memorabilia, clothing stacks And not to mention the 14 or 15 cats Sink filled with plates and teacups and vermin traps.. Frantic, a hatstand falls and trips her over And though at first it’s all still intact, A towering pile of pamphlets (and other crap) Topples and tumbles down and then bam! It smacks The back of her head. Her vision tunes out to black And all she can hear is the crackling of a fire igniting from a shattered old oil lantern! Folks, all we see is a girl in pain A girl in pain. But to some, in the depths of space, She’s the perfect brain the perfect brain. All dials were turned somehow to 49 at the same damn time on those vintage radios - a transmission flow! A surge of something suddenly starts seeping in through skull and skin Her mind is flooded out with foreign memories.. [audio depiction of the fireman arriving at the burning house. As he begins extinguishing the fire he notices the wings of a big prehistoric looking bird expand amidst all the flying paper and other debris. The bird calmly enters the burning house, re-emerging a few moments later with the unconscious woman safely resting in its enormous, shoe-like beak.] [audio depiction of a scene change, moving from earth out into the atmosphere, across a whole lot of of space, settling down onto a planet far, far from earth...] But far above all that you know of (it may as well be nowhere) Floats a planet all concealed by space debris Zoom in, we see a storage plant, and it’s sole proprietor With a memo from the ruler of his species - “DON’T DELETE OUR DREAMS. BACK UP EVERY MESSED UP THOUGHT WE HAVE! DON’T DEPLETE OUR MEANS. BE SURE TO KEEP EACH MEMORY INTACT, EXACTLY, EVERY FACT AND FALLACY.” ...it’s madness, is what it is. It’s madness, is what it is. A race not willing to forget, (or is it so they’re not forgotten?) Insistent on storing every glimpse of the past But see they maxed out their brains some time ago, along with their local storage contraptions. So their ruler put young BRALIEN to task - [audio depiction of BRALIEN using his tool to transmit the population’s excess memories via electrical lightning bolts into giant steel pyramid storage containers] “Oh! There’s no repeated scenes, but there’s simply no more room inside these walls! Hmmm. but if I re-jig the streams..Just for now, just temporary... I’ll scan the universe for space.. What’s this?? It could suffice.., the feeble “earth” brain..!!” [Anyway, back on Earth..] “Been having smidgens of odd aberrant visions today. Voices I’ve never heard utter words I’d never say. Steely landscapes awash in a bilious hue of grey, And my memory’s sharp as a tack, well usually anyway…” “You know what’s really strange? Is I’m copping the same Like a dumping in my brain.” “Are you saying your mind has been munted too? Invaded and faded from sight? Do you think there are more, or is it just us two?” “Degraded, updated alike?” “Well I did watch this bird drag you out of your house! Is it a condor? No, pelican? Or is it a grouse?” Don’t know much about birds, maybe do you have a book? “ “Maybe somewhere, don’t know.. Give me a sec and I’ll look..” “Right here! A ‘shoe-billed stork’ You think that it can talk?” “I doubt that it can talk...” “...but maybe its mind has been munted too? Fabricated and jaded alike? Well, maybe it knows what we’re supposed to do? Why is it up there like that??” “Maybe it misses its home?” [audio depiction of the two humans folding their arms and watching as the shoe-billed stork wanders over to one of the slightly charred boats. It climbs aboard, inspects the damage, and proceeds to go check out the 2nd boat in the woman’s front yard. It bows its head, clicks its bill together repeatedly, then begins to dig through the fire debris. Microwaves, old radios, all kinds of junk. With its massive and powerful beak, it starts to extract the wires and the “guts” of these appliances and places it all at the humans’ feet.] All of our minds have been munted through Persuaded, dilated and spiked Snapping synapses, cerebrum skewed Infected amygdala! But maybe our minds are aligned and tuned United and lighted the same I think that we all know what to do! [audio depiction of a “rocket boat montage”. -assessing the fire and water damage to the boat in the front yard -rocket boat? -assessing the second boat -nailing one boat to the other boat -removing the barnacles -stealing the motor out of a remote-controlled car that the kid next door left on his front porch -microwaving an old 16bit video game console (it was a rare and short lived one with not many games) (you probably don’t remember it) -installing these (and other bits and pieces) into the double-boat -quick smoko (bass solo) -ROCKET BOAT COMPLETE! -Fist pumping and high-fiving in slow motion as the sun sets. [Rather quick audio depiction of the camera leaving earth, and up to that dusty distant planet] He got the message, he got the call - “I need to recollect a thing I can’t recall.” So BRALIEN was like “yeah, okay. I’ll have it up and ready later on today.” Beneath the pointed mountains high, a giant screen went up, embedded in the sky. He found the file and flipped a switch. A premium service for his leaders (and the rich). Memories are valuable, but memories are malleable. At first the stream was quite adequate, but every now and then the memories seemed to split to “Vermin humans? The feather’s flap? A rocket boat, now what the hell is up with that? Urgh, BRALIEN I don’t remember this. Ohh! Explain yourself boy, lest your noggin meets my fist!” “Uhh, well memories are fallible, and memories are malleable” “Shut up, I hear them planning things! These humans have planned an invasion! Alert the defense domes and stations! I'll deal with you later!” [Meanwhile back on our soil planet “Earth”, the humans prepare for lift-off in their hastily built, untested spacecraft] “So, what, do we count down, or…” “Oh, I don’t know..” “But we’re sure this’ll hold us? Like…” “Oh! Let’s just go!” “Well, well! I see their every move, I see what they will do, and hear what they think” “Wait, what? They see us storming the stars? I have a memory of their memory of us??” “Thought thieves! Prepare for a mind dig! Prepare for a cranium prick! You picayune humans!” “Look man, we're just as annoyed as you are! How did your brains blend in with ours? And now ours with yours?” [audio depiction of a MIND MELD. That is, the humans and the far-off earth creatures have their minds melded together...] All stuck in a recall loop, awed and shocked Stepping out from their boat-craft, they felt so E N L A R G E D . “Don’t think, or they’ll think (Then) we’ll think, and they’ll think” “Stop trying to stop Let yourself think till The last think is thunk.” “There’s a space somewhere - hold it - back there. There’s some mind to be made up” “Place it where?” “Hold up - back there.” “It’s a mind to be made up.” [audio depiction of the 2 humans and the giant shoe-billed stork slowly exiting the rocket-boat] Floating steps, weightless boots Almost buoyant wings... (is space just water, but invisible? No?) First the stork, then the 2 behind They descend the meagre ladder held with gaffer and baler twine. Squint your eyes, folks or you won’t see it.. The planet is no bigger than a pear! It’s inhabitants are smaller still... Their emperor speaks; “guards, stand down! I think that I understand what’s happened here!” And he peers down at BRALIEN. ”Sir it’s not my fault! It’s our faulty brains! Our anamnesis addiction has maxed out all 1.44MB of my storage facility!” “Wow your thoughts are so tiny…? “Here,” the woman says as she pulls out her keys “Well, this should do you for the next 1000 years (or so)” [audio depiction of the girl taking a 2TB usb stick off of her keychain, and plugging it squarely into a swamp on the tiny planet. The data transmitters all light up and lightning starts crackling directly into the new memory device. The hordes of aliens all breathe a unison sigh of immense relief. Trying to hold onto their memories was exhausting! The swelling in their heads starts to deflate.] The drive home was incredible! (or were they technically sailing?) (Is it flying if it’s in a boat? Regardless, it was amazing! Somehow in the process of those data transfer bends The slate was cleaned inside the skulls of our earthianic friends. The man is clearer now than ever, now that he can’t lock on this past Reminiscing now no longer fills him with annoyance and aghast. It’s like he’s had some static scattered, sprinkled on his mind -It’s all sort of there still, but just.. *i n a u d a b l e * A billion things will happen every day endless mess of shots and ricochets - but who cares! You’ll work it out eventually Even if it takes another creature’s thoughts to find out who you are! I know of the woman’s childhood, for she’s been known to overshare But her problems are her own, it’s not my place to go into them here. Suffice to say she’s sorting, with her memory freshly cleaned Her mind, (much like her house now) is not so bursting at its seams. What better way to sort a hoarder’s mess than to burn it to the ground? Nostalgia’s nice in small doses, but ephemeral… A trillion things have gone and passed you by Opportunities and the like - but who cares You’ll work it out eventually Even if it takes another creature’s thoughts to realise what you’re not! “A presence forgiving - binged on vast coincidences “The essence of living - hinged on past experiences Senescence is giving provender to wizdom, yet all the same I don’t remember this, but I can’t remember everything!” [another audio depiction] And on that (thumb)drive were some earth films, mostly light-hearted and kind The tiny planet people watched them, and they thought they were quite nice! As for BRALIEN? Well he was soon was promoted to ARCHDUKE For the Emperor was most impressed…. And the shoe-billed stork said nothing! Mainly coz he cannot speak He just bowed his head and rapidly clicked his giant shoe-shaped beak. And the humans looked at each other, filled their cheeks with air and laughed! (No, they didn’t get together, in case you were gonna ask.) They drove/flew/sailed that rocket-boat, and landed safely back on earth. So whilst our memories make up much of what we’re not, I’ll tell you what; So much of who we are is what we have forgot! I’m sure you have your questions (such as ‘how did they breathe in outer space?’) I wish that I could answer, but my brain is fried! I gotta fly! Some other time? C o o l. G o o d b y e .

about

The new Toehider album is one song that lasts 47 minutes and 47 seconds.

It look me about 3 years to write and record it. It really came out great and it sounds like a sonic journey through the last 50 or so years of prog rock and metal.

Thematically it’s a comment on remembering. Where are our memories now? Do we even need to remember that much? Or are we trying to remember too much? Are we better off forgetting? Are these memories even mine? How?

The whole thing tells the story of a man, a woman, a huge bird, a dumb alien, and 2 boats that get modded to facilitate an outer-space confrontation.

There’s two different endings. One on the CD, the alternate ending on vinyl.

There's also an amazing animated video for a portion of the song based on Salty's characters, animated by Eleanor Evans & Giovanni Aguilar.

Thanks for all your support everyone

credits

released September 9, 2022

Music - Mike Mills
Art - Andrew Saltmarsh

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Toehider Melbourne, Australia

The work of musician Micheal Mills and artist Andrew Saltmarsh.

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