Not Much of a Man

by Toehider

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#2 of the 12 EPs in 12 months.

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released June 12, 2009

Mike - guitars and vocals.

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Toehider Melbourne, Australia

The work of musician Micheal Mills and artist Andrew Saltmarsh.

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Track Name: Not Much of a Man
Taping up these holey boots, to keep from getting wet.
I wonder if these clouds present a brontosaurus bread*
Wailing on a thing, and thinks that I haven't thought of yet.
Waiting out for something more than that.
Tongue tired, and over tied up, silencing these sounds
Hell-bent, obsessed with sounding clever and profound
Realising that the bottle's already halfway down.
And when its down, I guess its down...

Well, at least I've tricked the ceiling (and myself) into believing its the sky.
When the beach was my backyard, well then I'd laugh so goddamn hard until I cried.
Staring out the window, feeling dead and watching wind blow up the sand.
When my eyes catch my reflection, I realise I am not much of a man.

Purging all the parts and pieces that ain't worth a shit
Burning over, trying to get the smallest slot to fit
Something tells me that it's not the last I've heard of it
Making room for something less than this.

Sorting out the ones to burn and the ones I'd maybe fix
Thinking of the ones I lost, and add them to the list
Trying not to think to hard of the ones I might've missed
Coz when they're gone I guess they're gone.

Turn me sour from sweetness, and I turn my strengths to weakness every night.
And it's easier to forgive and to forget than it is to face it and to fight.
So I guess you best be leaving, and I'll just go along believing best I can
It's when I get to drinking that I realise I am not much of a man.
Track Name: Wood
Can you recall what the young girl had said?
No smile on her face, her eyes were all red
Unable to speak out the words in her head.

Was it as good as you hoped it would be?
Your mind is consumed, but your body is free
That's at least what you tell yourself

You don't have to wait any more, just close your eyes, it'll all be all right.
I'm sorry for wasting your time, and stealing your lines, when I ran out of mine.

And you know, I was well asleep tonight before I even closed my eyes, so I can't give you what I should
But I suppose this is the spot where we both start, and I'll take out my burnt out heart and I will strip it back to wood.

Wasn't it odd how the young boy regressed?
He isn't a man, but he sure tries his best
And he's more one than some when he's put to the test...
I cannot be what I know I should be
At least that's the truth, and I know you agree
At least that's what I tell myself.

I cannot be waiting no more.
I'll close my eyes, and I guess I'll be fine
I can't waste no more of my time with whisky and wine.
And whinging and whining.

And you know, I was well asleep tonight before I even closed my eyes, so I can't give you what I should
So I suppose this is the spot where we both start, and I'll take out my burnt out heart and I will strip it back to wood.

So you know that I would fall asleep tonight before I'd even shut my eyes, I guess I've tried as best I could.
And I know that I can't go, but you can't stay, so I'll just keep whittling away until I've stripped it back to wood.
Track Name: Now Fly Away
And the spaces between were so wide 'n elongated
I thought I'd combust when it got to the spend
Oh and feeling around, think of time that we'd wasted
Spaces apart like a means to an end.

And the face that you made, had its place in the middle,
And vastly I made what I thought I was in.
Woah, and sleeping aloud, you were talking in riddles,
But amazingly I understood everything

So it began, like it never ended.
I took it slightly,and made no vow
I never thought it real like I pretended
But you taught me how.

Fleeting it was, and in no way sustaining
Cut like a branch that was busting to sway.
Beating it out, I'm in no way complaining
Do you not understand what I'm meaning to say?

Just lay my head, upon the foreign dirt here
And water it lightly, inhale the clay
But all I can do, is sit and wait it out dear
I taught you to fly, so now fly away.

So then it starts, like it never ended.
I took it lightly, I get it now
It never turned into what I intended
But you taught me to reach, you taught me to teach
And I taught you to fly, so now fly away.


And the face that you made, was the face of an angel
Track Name: Gridlines
I tried to teach them, I pleaded with them
They wouldn't listen to a goddamn word I said
I tried to help them, I tried to warn them
They wouldn't listen, lord and now their son is dead.
See, I see gridlines, sometimes in straight lines.
And there be danger where the gridlines meet...
I see them glowing here on the surface
They're running deep lord, deep within the dirt
And the streams were crossing under his bed there
And that was why lord, why their young boy hurt
But hell, they put all their faith in Jesus
But where's your Jesus when the devil does his worst?
You want an answer, to heal his cancer?
Then move his bed along closer to the wall.
See, I see gridlines, sometimes in straight lines
And he's sleeping right there, where the crosses fall
But they say I'm crazy! They ALL think I'm crazy!
"Ohh, you're just an old man who's clearly lost his mind!"
But your son is dying! Oh goddamn, he's dying!
And it's all because of the water in these lines!

See, I see Gridlines, sometimes in straight lines
And there be danger where the gridlines meet.
I tried to warn them, but he died last autumn
There goes another soul that I wish I could have saved
I tried to help them, but they had to bury him.
And don't get me started on where they've dug his grave...
Track Name: When I Am Laid to Rest
I am not the one to know
Cover me with beans and promise
I am not the one to know where I go when I am laid to rest
I am not the one who needs
I must have been asleep, or dreaming
I am not the one who sees, or hears my pleas, when I am laid to rest
Through my hands, and through my heart
To my head and to the stars...

I am not the one to know
Cover me with seeds and moonlight
I am not the one to know where to go
When I am laid to rest.