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The song begins with the singer expressing a sense of detachment or displacement from their life ("I had a dream I was gone...uninvited from a new day dawn"). They hint at an ambivalent response from others ("You seemed to hold your applause"), suggesting a perceived lack of recognition or validation.

The lines, "It's not hard to not know what never was" and "Is it better to quit forever?" suggest a struggle with self-identity and questioning the value of persistence. There might be some internal conflict between who they believe they should be versus who they are. The second stanza also seems to imply that the speaker is contemplating whether to quit something, but it is unclear what that might be - it could be a personal endeavor, a relationship, or even a certain lifestyle.

In the third verse, the lyrics discuss how the singer interacts with others, how they see them and are seen by them. It talks about the challenge of expressing themselves, hence the need to "mime" and "fill in lines". This could mean that they feel misunderstood or unable to effectively communicate their feelings. The last lines of this verse indicate a shift in their perspective, moving away from sadness and perhaps even from their previous ambitions ("I don't want those things I've searched my whole life for").

"Holding night, dropping sea - under the moon but o’er the trees" might symbolize the ebb and flow of life, and the speaker's struggle with balancing their inner world (night/sea) with the external world (moon/trees). The following line "For one day you’ll blink out those stars in your eyes" could symbolize losing one's naivety or youthful idealism.

The song ends by asking the listener to recall their own pursuits ("You remember your endeavour?"), possibly inviting them to relate to the speaker's experiences and again raising the question of whether it is better to quit or persist.

Overall, the song seems to be about the struggle of identity and self-understanding, the dilemma of holding onto or letting go of dreams, and the complexities of navigating personal growth and change.

lyrics

I had a dream I was gone
Not dead, just uninvited from a new day dawn
Though I wasn’t there, how did I fare? Well..
You seemed to hold your applause
It’s not hard to not know what never was
And sure, time it takes, and yes I’m awake, I believe

I held that dream
But now I'm up alongside it, and it's hard to hide, let alone see if it's me, or how I've envisioned it to be


It's whatever, and it's never
Is it better to quit forever?

I can no longer speak, so I mime.
I watch all your faces, I fill in lines
I hope you all care, but yet I hate your stares, well..
I guess I'm not sad anymore.
But I don't want those things I've searched my whole life for
And I guess that’s ok, I’ll just go about my day

holding night, dropping sea - under the moon but o’er the trees
Drop it, please. But hold it tight! For one day you’ll blink out those stars in your eyes.

You remember your endeavour?
Is it better to quit forever?

credits

from XII in XII #01 - "Quit Forever​?​", released August 4, 2023

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Toehider Melbourne, Australia

The work of musician Micheal Mills and artist Andrew Saltmarsh.

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