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Drown it in the Moat

from XII in XII #5 - Take on a Tank by Toehider

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"Drown it in the Moat" concerns 2 drunk men arguing in a pub over who saved the town by drowning a local monster in a nearby moat. Who is telling the truth?

lyrics

“I’ll tell you all, it happened right here in this tavern !
It wandered from its cavern and into the town
Drinking mead and cold beers, no-one else was in here
But I could still think well clear as I chugged ‘em down

A single eye and two sharp massive horns ado-orned its head
Mouth of saliva mixed with gobs of blood and flesh it had shred


Well I leapt up on that table there, and grabbed it by the throat
I tackled it down to the ground, and that was all she wrote!
I dragged it out into the field, it’s head wrapped in my coat
Rolled it down the hill some more, and drowned it in the moat!”

“That is not what happened, none of that is accurate
You’re a drunk, a coward and a silly man!
As it was, young lasses, I was cleaning glasses
seeing all that passes my window

I watched the thing pick berries from atop those towering trees
But they’re full of poison, and the ugly thing fell down to its knees

So I ran out back and lit a fire (a cyclops hates the smoke).
It’s single eye welled up with tears. It began to cough and choke.
I tied its hands, I tied its feet, I tied it to my boat
Sailed out halfway, then it was I that drowned it in the moat!

So c’mon leave these girls alone, you’re such a daft old soak!
Everyone in this tavern knows that I drowned it in the moat”

“Stick to serving us our drinks, you cocky young blokes are a joke.
Pipe down before I’ve had enough and I drown YOU in the moat!”

credits

from XII in XII #5 - Take on a Tank, released December 1, 2023

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Toehider Melbourne, Australia

The work of musician Micheal Mills and artist Andrew Saltmarsh.

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