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Toe Hider

by Toehider

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1.
2.
Toe Hider 04:00
I saw the clock (and I) dashed for my socks I untwisted the lock when... WHEN UP UP POPPED HIS LITTLE HEAD But it was strange coz I wasn't afraid but I, I have to say that it was more than a little unnerving when he said; "There'll be no moonlighting in the moonlight, children No sightseeing in the sea And you'll be best to cover up your feet soon darlings, or best you give your toes to me... And the word got around, spreading right across town, that when he wore his night gown it was single... ...double... ....triple the fun! When the angle was right, in the sultry moonlight, he would give us a fright.. and we all stood pretty much motionless as he went; "You'll have no more offers from the office, ladies No tip-toe'ing round the truth. And there'll be no smashing of your packets either, Lest I give these toes... TO YOU!!" Now, the ending of this fable sees the youngen (small and able) duck her head under the table With her mouth all full of chewing gum-ooooh! Could you believe it? Well I guess you had to see it, little toes, stuck with adhesive for to catch a... Catch a toe hii--- der!! Yeah, the purple-y muck, had him awfully stuck, and so all out of luck Shoulders shrugged he sat down be-side her. And you know ,I confess, I suppose that to say that I was suprised would be a great understatement, when he turned to the children and spoke.... "Don't you worry much about your Hallux, Alex Gone are slippers in the heat. And there'll be no more fidgeting your digits, Bridget I see you like them more than me... So now go on with twinkling in the wet grass children, And moonlight-dancing for the win! And there'll be no more toe hiding, I promise kids, but [maybe I could tuck them in?]"
3.
Jesuitmont 04:39
There lived a knight in Jesuitmont A huntin' he did ride; His footmen all attending him, And his horsemen by his side. And they found out in Jesuitmont A pleasant sport and play; His lady goes exceeding fine, To hear the masses play. An' she's called on her daughter Anne, To come to her with speed; to go and tell the master cook To dress the dinner straight. To go her message for to tell, Young Annie feared nae ill; An' she is gone to the master cook, The message for to tell. Ye maun dress the dow, the dow, That fair and milk-white dow; That in the parlour shines so fair, There's nane so fair to show. Here is a panknife in my hand, Will bereave thee of thy life; For thou art the dow that I maun dress unto thy fathers wife. Up then spoke the kitchie boy, An' he spoke loud an' high; "O save, O save fair Annie's life, An' bake me in your pie." "I will not save fair Annie's life, No not for such as thee; But if thou divulge this lady's life, Thy butcher I will be." When day was done and night was come, And they were all at dinner When he's ca'd for his daughter Annie, To come and carve his dinner. Up he rose and away he goes, Anangry man was he; "One bit of meat I will not eat, Till I fair Annie see." Up then spak the kitchie boy, An' he spak loud an' high; "An ye wad your fair Annie see, Ye maun break up the pie." Her meat it was a' minced sme' An' forced by the fire' An' cursed be her stepmother For it was her desire. This lord his a' clad i' black A' for his Annie's sake; An' he has caused her stepmother To be burnt at the stake. An' he has caused the master cook, in boilin' lead to stand; An' he has made the kitchie boy The heir o' a' his land.
4.
Could not have been any more of a disaster I didn't know he was such a good actor And she, too, kept a lid on How could they both just spit on 18 years? And as for you, well I just don't know what to tell you I cannot look at your face, ah hell You have got to be fucking kidding This whole fucking thing is bringing me to tears You could have any boy you like It's not like you never had a choice And I couldn't help you if I tried... It's bad enough to find out so late But to think we did is to much to take Coz you're not the girl you said you were And I'm not the man I think I am Scrub the skin and wash the taste Of your mother's sin and my father's mistake Coz you're not the girl you said you were And I'm not the man I think I am To think about it makes me sick to my stomach I cannot sleep, I can't believe that they've done it All because of these two cheaters, she'll deny it but don't believe that he's your Dad And as for you, well I just don't know how to play it It's too hard, wish I could just come out and say it But where do I begin with all of this? You could have picked another guy It's not like you even have to try and now it's much more than just goodbye. It's bad enough to find out so late But to think we did is to much to take Coz you're not the girl you said you were And I'm not the man I think I am Scrub the skin and wash the taste Of your mother's sin and my father's mistake Coz you're not the girl you said you were And I'm not the man I think I am ...so when it was open, I went to his office And found all the letters that he got from your Mum "I think that the baby's yours, if you know what's good for you, you won't telll a soul!" So I guess Mum's the word. It's bad enough to find out so late But to think we did is to much to take Coz you're not the girl you said you were And I'm not the man I think I am Scrub the skin and wash the taste Of your mother's sin and my father's mistake Coz you're not the girl you said you were And I'm not the man I think I am.
5.
How can you tell? You call it a fear. I call it 'electric', and hold it quite dear. Scratch it all out, and scratch it within. Over your faces, under my skin. The sky is a blindfolded mess The clouds flicker past like they're hiding something. The stars are just pricks in the sky And the moon was a kite until some cunt snipped its string. And all but too soon, the colours all fade And I can't tell your browns from your green or your grey. They're not all the same, they're not uniform. Stop with the collecting together in swarms. I can't feel a thing as you slit. And the lotus seeds taunts me (I know where they've come from) Halcyon's not even a word The moon was a cut, but it seems to be healing well. I'm over the moon, I'm sick of its games And finally my enemy has a name. And I will not stop, till I've scratched you all out And I'll finally see what you're really about. The sun needs no excuses to shine And the faces it beams on seem microscopic. The stars are just pricks in the sky And the moon was a kite until some cunt snipped its string.

about

Recorded late 2008.

NOTE the song "Toe Hider" cuts out at the end. This is intentional. There's an old Dream Theater song called "Pull Me Under" that does the same thing, and I like that.

credits

released December 17, 2008

Mike Mills - most things.

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Toehider Melbourne, Australia

The work of musician Micheal Mills and artist Andrew Saltmarsh.

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